Birthdays, Booze, and Blow
What is was like and how it is now - DGL 7/17/23
I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for my family, Timmy, and his family. I’m grateful for a rainy day yesterday that makes me so excited for a sunny day today. I’m grateful for vacation, coffee, being able to be there for my sponsor, feeling connected to HP and for the beach. I’m grateful for lessons, growing, and how different things are today.
Good morning my friends!
As always, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, is feeling rested and recharged for the week ahead :)
Today is an exciting day first because, we are officially on vacation and second…. it’s my birthday!!!! 24 whole years around the sun…wild.
I have so much gratitude in my heart for seeing another year, but my birthday can definitely bring some weird stuff up and I have spent the past few days reflecting on what it was like before vs what it’s like today.
On my 22nd birthday, I spent far too much money buying a table at a club, and the amount of alcohol we were receiving felt limitless (for the record it wasn’t limitless it was $1,500 worth of shitty club booze and like one bottle of Patrón Tequila). I was gifted bags of cocaine that I proceeded to do all night, and peer pressure other people into doing too. I danced all night, damaged relationships, stumbled to an old friend’s apartment and continued to peer pressure people into more blow and booze. At 7am I promptly boarded NJ Transit to go see a boy the next day (really just a continuation of the night before) and used my parents’ house basically as an air bnb with very little regard to how they felt about it.
Later that summer, I would continue to use their house as a hotel basically, Irish goodbye from a bar, not pick up my parent’s phone calls or texts, all to go see the same boy who in reality…really didn’t want to see me that bad and couldn’t fathom why I wouldn’t just answer the phone. I scared my parents that day more than ever. Little did I know that a few short months later I would get sober. Six months after my July birthday, a new birthday would begin.
Needless to say, my birthdays look very different now. Today, I am going to spend a vast majority of the day on the beach, I got to celebrate with my family yesterday and will celebrate with them again tonight. My parents still love and support me and show up for me, I was able to make amends to them and work on bettering our relationship. There’s no drama, no cocaine as a birthday present, no trust broken, no large amounts of money spent. Just peace, and calm. I am tremendously grateful for the sober life I have and how I get to spend the day today because of it.
This past year in my sobriety hasn’t been easy, 23 won’t go down in the books as the best year ever. But I can take all of the lessons I’ve learned into 24, I can continue to learn and grow and make this the best year I’m capable of.
Today is just another 24 hours but filled with a little extra love and gratitude.
Xx
Jane
Keep it up, Jane! We are very proof you & your commitment to sobriety. Your thought & words are helping many people. Happy birthday!!🎈🎈🎈🎈🎁🎁🎁🎂🎂🎂🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊❤️
24 years ago today, God blessed me with a beautiful baby girl and I became a mom. I could not be more proud of the woman you are today and I’m so grateful for your sobriety and all the hard work and dedication you put into it. To hear that you have calm, peace and sobriety, that’s the best gift you can give yourself. I love you!