I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful that in less than two weeks I'll have one whole year sober. I’m grateful to be off from work, for my new candle that smells like a Christmas Tree, for the way the sun lights up the apartment in the morning, for having a new book to look forward to while I finish the previous one, for Christmas being so close and for feeling like I finally have a real conception of a Higher Power.
Good morning my friends :) I hope everyone has been enjoying their week so far, is gearing up for Christmas and/or has been having a very happy Hanukkah!
As I mentioned above, I am off from work for the next two weeks which in itself is a Christmas miracle. I have a message booked tomorrow morning, therapy first, my boyfriend and I will be seeing our families for the holiday and my schedule is wide open for some R&R.
The reality however, is that the post work year adrenaline wont actually wear off until promptly two weeks from now. I am getting emails from people who aren't off just yet, that I feel as though I have to answer right now and I struggle to shake off the last bits of anxiety induced by work.
But, if I’ve learned anything in this past year it’s how important it is to be present. So you know what, I’m going to enjoy the hell out of that massage tomorrow. And afterwards I’m going to go to the holiday shops in Union Square and pick up some gifts for my boyfriends siblings. An after that maybe I'll dive into my new book.
Or maybe the only thing I'll accomplish is getting the massage and going home and that's okay too. But I will most certainly try my best to be present, to keep my “I’m off” boundary in place, to just relax and not get swept up in my anxiety.
So, I hope everyone has some time for themselves this holiday season and that you enjoy every second you can :) I will see you again on Thursday!
With so much love always,
Jane
P.S. I know this time of year can be extremely triggering and absolutely not the happiest time of the year. And that is 100% okay too, just please don’t go through it alone. Call a friend, put on a feel good movie, whatever you need to do to stay sober and feel okay. And I’m always here to chat should anyone need!
Beautiful post - great words, as always, and I love the pic of your Christmas tree. I'm now going to have to go out and find a Christmas tree-scented candle....!!!
Love your message today. We’ve been out of power for a week, so today I joined the local leisure club and had a swim and a sauna. It fair warmed me up and felt like a kind act for myself. Now I’m going to wrap up warm and read a book by candlelight.