I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful to work from home, for seeing my parents this weekend, for Timmy’s patience, and for understanding. I’m grateful for subtle signs and big signs, for finishing Dune Messiah and having Children of Dune on deck. I’m grateful for AA, the lessons it teaches me and for knowing AA will never leave me.
Good morning my friends (: I hope everyone has been enjoying the week and is excited for the weekend!
I personally am burned out. So completely and totally drained and I don’t really have much to offer here today. I have off from work tomorrow in which I have not told anyone about because I really need some time to do Jane things - like reading and resting and not speaking to anyone for a little while.
That said it’s super important for my to acknowledge that I am burned about because I am burning at both ends of the stick (that’s how the saying goes?) NOT because anything is really wrong.
When I was burned out at my old job it was because I was miserable, I was miserable getting up and going to a job that filled me with no purpose, anxiety and (not to be dramatic or anything) complete and total misery.
The job I have today fills me with purpose, I’m proud of the work I do every day, I don’t dread logging on to work. I just haven’t taken any real breaks lately.
I love AA, it saved my life and it will forever be the most important thing to practice the principles in my affairs. But I’m burned out on the same meeting over and over and over again. And nothing changes if nothing changes right? I need to go to new meetings, meet new people maybe reconnect with old sober friends. But first and foremost I need refill my cup.
So today - I will grind. There are a million things to do before we are closed tomorrow. But Friday - Sunday I will rest. Real rest, doing things that make me happy not the things I feel like I have to do. I will focus on refilling my cup so I can effectively be there for the people around me because right now…I am actively drinking a cup of coffee AND TYPING but I can barely keep my eyes open. That’s not helpful to myself or anyone else.
So here’s to refilling…whether that be your coffee cup or your spiritual cup (;
Xx
Jane
I am the adult child of an alcoholic father, a wife of a recovering alcoholic who never misses his Sunday meeting, and the mother of an alcoholic daughter who has recently cut us out of her life. For what it is worth to you, your words "refill my cup" with each diary entry. Thank you. Now rest. Rest some more. Rest again. You are a gift to many.
Recreation should actually be spelled re-creation.
You have been working hard to rewire your brain and create the new Jane!
Your brain never "sleeps," but it does need time to "rest and Digest."
Your plan for this Easter weekend is just what the physician requisitioned!
There is a companion to the "changes" quote: "there is only one thing you need to change and that is everything!"
But all those changes are connected to other things that have changed.
It is easy for your mind to get overwhelmed. That is why our brains are programmed to sleep, shutting down the flood of new information and allowing you to organize the information you already have in place.
The good news is you have the 3-day weekend for your brain to re-create itself. Time to take a pause from the flood of new information and let the neurons in your brain shop around for new connections and to prune the connections that have not proven useful or been superseded.
One of my favorite stress reducers is humor. If you have a favorite movie or TV show that always makes you laugh, this would be a good time to watch it.