Everything is Fine
This Week on Diary of a Sober Girl
I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for my family, Timmy and my friends. I’m grateful for meetings this weekend and rest. I’m grateful for coffee, AA, early mornings even though I also hate them, weather that feels like fall and for being present.
Gooood morning my friends (: Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!
Today is a long and busy day and I personally am really wishing for one more day of the weekend. How does Monday sneak up so fast??
I have to be on-site today with some clients and talent for New York Fashion week. I have to be downtown early but hopefully get to come home around 2 where I can finish work and stare longingly at the rescue, we’re hoping to adopt from website to see if they have any new pups. We went to meet a few pups on Saturday, we left empty handed, I am still heartbroken.
Heart break aside the class I registered for starts in a couple of weeks, so I’d love to spend some time today preparing for that as well. And the moral of this play by play of my day today is that I realized late last night that everything is really okay.
I still have the same amount of fear. My therapist told me on Friday that it sounds like what makes me the most uncomfortable is actually my authentic self and that sucked to hear. But that can change.
This on-site today would typically be making me shit my pants with nerves – but I’ve done a million of them before. There’s no fear of someone asking if I want to go to drinks after because I simply do not drink. That’s just a very simple fact for me that doesn’t need to be over thought.
I’m grateful to have a really cool job AND still be aware that it’s time to chase my happiness. Time to open the door for myself which I’m doing by taking this class soon. I’m grateful that we at least got to meet a few pups, understand what we’re looking for and maybe next time, we’ll get to take the dog home that’s meant for us.
I’m grateful someone told me very clearly and directly that it’s me. I am the problem. My uncomfortably stems from me. And while yes, I’ve always known that in one way or another it’s really nice to be learning another set of tools to help my change that. AA is the most wonderful thing, but outside help is great too.
Overall, I just deeply feel like it’s going to be okay. And that might be fleeting. That might be because I’ve been praying consistently again, it might be because I just haven’t had enough coffee or stepped out into the real world yet but all of that is okay too. I don’t have to come up with reasons to NOT feel okay right now. I can just embrace, being present in this moment where everything really is just…fine.
Xx
Jane
Gm, I remember the heartbreak of looking at websites for rescue dogs. It's worse than human dating websites since I fell in love with just about every dog! Happy to report, it took a couple months, but that eventually my dog and I found each other. Kind of like the AA principals - our Higher Powers helped us find each other when it was time.
"The things that come to us when we put ourselves in God's hands are better than anything we could have planned."