Exploring Meditation Further

I'm grateful for an early morning run where the skies were clear enough to see the mountains and I was able to avoid the day's extreme heat. I'm grateful for the peace I felt while reading my book. I'm grateful for thinking about different forms of meditation and how I can incorporate them into my life. I continue to be very grateful for my new pairs of sneakers that've allowed me to enjoy my runs without any knee pain. I'm grateful for having healthy ways to deal with memories from my past that still haunt me on occasion. I'm grateful for thinking about that older, sicker version of myself with more grace and love. I'm grateful for putting matters into context in real-time as means of de-escalating my reaction. I'm grateful for the extra fluffy tortillas that made my homemade dinner absolutely delicious. I'm grateful for a meeting topic about the different, ever-changing ways faith gets integrated into our lives the longer we remain sober. I'm grateful for transforming justified anger into constructive, peaceful actions. I'm always grateful for playtime with Harper.

I was listening to an inspiring podcast conversation during my recent run and the guest was sharing the three forms of meditation he does. They were:

• Breathing Meditation: he described it as breathing in slowly, holding your breath for a few seconds, and then breathing out very very slowly as a means to become more present and in sync with your body

• Visual Meditation: thinking about a place, whether it is one you've been to or not, and simply holding that visual to calm the mind

• Sound Meditation: reciting a prayer, proverb, affirmation or sound to connect you with a power greater than yourself and to the larger universe

I don't regularly do Breathing meditation, but I did it a few times yesterday and in each instance it was amazing, especially the breathing out part. The slow physical exhalation of air from my lungs made me feel as if I was also releasing tension. I was so much lighter afterwards. Running daily I am conscientious of breath work, but this is something different that I want to explore further. Hopefully I'll incorporate breathing exercises into my spiritual routines.

Visualization I've done in a very ad hoc manner. There are a few places I have strong emotional connections to that'll pop up in my mind and bring me serenity - the mountains I see from Cheesman, Big Sur and Land's End in California, Harlem Hill in Central Park, etc.. Usually I have to physically be there to derive true comfort. However I should start practicing mentally visualizing these places more deliberately to see if I can make this a bigger part of my Step 11.

Finally what I heard in that podcast about Sound mediation is where it really popped off for me. I'm constantly repeating adages, mantras, prayers, idioms that come into my head at pivotal moments, particularly ones where I see my defects surfacing. Over the past few years in AA repetition of such phrases has truly saved me from getting into sticky situations. I feel like I've shared several of them in prior Posts, but here are the most current roster that I've been frequently using to uplift myself:

• This too shall pass: reciting these words helps put my problems in context, reminding me of life's transience and to not let attachments to emotions, especially negative ones, weigh me down.

• PAUSE: Postpone Action Until Serenity Enters; I have this framed on my gallery wall in the living room.

• HALT: prior to reacting I first ask myself - am I Hungry?, am I Angry? am I Lonely? am I Tired? If ‘yes’ to any of these questions then I know to take care of that need before doing anything else.

• THINK: before saying something out loud I ask myself is what I am about to say Thoughtful? Is it Honest? Is it Important? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? If 'no' to any of these then it's safe to say that I should keep my mouth closed.

• H.O.W.: In the Spiritual Experience Appendix section of the Big Book (pages 567-568) at the end of the chapter it reminds me to always engage with AA in a manner that is Honest, Open-Minded, and Willing, basically it's "HOW" to do the Program. That acronym has stuck with me not only as it relates to doing AA, but also doing all of life.

• Time Takes Time: people tell me it's trite but I adore the phrase because saying it permits me to LET GO of the reins and allow matters to play out organically.

• Serenity Prayer: y'all know this one, but in case you don't here is the link for the prayer we say at the end of many meetings. I try to speak the words slowly and put space between them to truly feel their impact.

• Gayatri Mantra: an old Sanskrit prayer I've recited since I first knew how to speak. While my relationship with religion can sometimes be tricky, I find comfort in reciting this prayer because it brings me a genuine sense of safety and peace.

• Keep my side of street clean: pretty self-explanatory, but essentially the phrase helps me stay in the solution by keeping my head above the fray while making sure to...

• Do the next right action: love the sentiment here because it guides me to break down larger problems into smaller ones, simply putting one foot in front of the other, and keep going one day at a time.

• Build self-esteem by doing esteem-able acts: Sort of related to the above two yet it primarily reminds me to be of Service to my fellow humans, one of the three core components of AA (the others being Recovery and Unity).

It's pretty clear that Sound meditation is a more developed part of my mediation practice that keeps evolving as I learn. However I'm excited to observe the changes within me as I begin including Breathing and Visualization into my daily practices. Being emotionally sober in AA is a real blessing because it can open me up to these opportunities for personal growth I've either avoided or never knew existed. I just have to remain "H.O.W.".