I'm grateful for connecting with fellows after a meeting and hearing how they've been doing. I'm grateful for topic meetings, especially when they explore atypical topics like finances + sobriety. I'm grateful for being able to totally reorient our basement so we can finally move around down there. I'm grateful for my partner giving me the space to focus on my sobriety. I'm grateful for how clean, soft, and fluffy Harper is post-bath. I'm grateful to have a gameplan in my mind and be able to execute on it without sloth entering the mix. I'm grateful to see the mountains again during my park run on a beautifully clear, warm, big-blue-sky day.
I was connecting with a day counter at the end of a meeting this week and we talked about searching for magic in sobriety. In his earlier share he said that whenever he drank he felt more confident, more handsome, more gregarious, more creative, etc. He described this as the magic of alcohol.
A memorable turn of phrase I recall reading about in early sobriety is around the progression of our drinking: first it was magic > then it became medicine > and finally it devolved into mayhem. Now as this day counter returns from the mayhem and searches for more solid foundation in sobriety, he's looking for that same magic he used to experience. but without any liquid assistance.
Our conversation got me thinking about what I do to seek magic in my life. The majority of this searching involves the daily practice of my healthy routines, along with keeping an open mind to integrating new ones. When I go through these activities they put my mind at ease, get me closer to my Higher Power, and inevitably make me appreciate the magic of sober living.
Routines I have today...
Daily Gratitude lists: Lets me acknowledge and appreciate the miracles that are constantly sprinkled throughout my day - of which there are many.
Writing: The internal, quiet reflection around writing my deepest thoughts lulls me into a meditative state and pushes me to better understand the root of my behaviors / actions.
Exercise: By moving a muscle it naturally generates endorphins that clears my mind and lift my spirits.
Cleaning & organizing the home: Ever since I was a child I've been a neat freak so a clean home for me has meant a clean mind as well.
Meetings: Listening to others in the Program enhances my sobriety by leaps and bounds.
Weekly check-ins with my Sponsor and Sponsee: Essentially a more intimate form of meetings since these are 1x1 conversations; they keep me accountable to others in the Program and remind me how to stay on the beam.
My dog: Knowing I need to stop myself throughout the day to do XYZ thing for my dog - walk, feed, groom, play - ensures I think about something other than myself; I'm of service instead of always thinking about myself.
Evening Reflections: Before going to sleep my partner and I have been doing this routine of asking each other what was the highlight and lowlight of the day; having this discussion ensures I take stock of my days and feel like I'm living my most informed life.
Routines I'd like to incorporate...
More formal prayer and the physical act of getting on my knees: I have a complicated relationship with religion / traditional forms of worship, but since forever we as humans have been getting on our knees when praying so there is something instinctual / anscentral there that's ingrained in us. The few times I have done this act it has immediately put me in a mindset of humility and peace and so I want to engage in this practice more regularly.
Opening myself up to more sponsees and fellowship: As an introvert I give myself a pass too often when it comes to sharing at meetings or talking to others who might be struggling. I need to let go of being in my head and know that sharing my experience can potentially help another.
More service-oriented work, especially at meetings: I've been attending a lot of Denver AA meetings and have my mind set on committing to a service-position at one of them soon. Being of service has always given me the best high so no excuse to not do this.
Reading more AA literature: There is so much to consume out there and I have barely scratched the surface. While the Big Book, Living Sober, and 12 & 12 are great. I need to read more to deepen my understanding of my own sobriety.
Therapy: I've only done this once. I honestly didn't give therapy a fair shot and need to revisit now that I am more sober and comfortable sharing about myself honestly.
I love believing for myself that the beauty of being in our world each day is found in the practice of the above actions. Thank you AA for showing me there is an easier, softer, more magical way if I stick closely to this path.
Loved your writing today! I found myself agreeing with ALL of it!! A few things I am definitely stealing…may drop the magic, medicine, mayhem line in a meeting today…Thanksgiving you for your service.