I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for another beautiful, sunny day. I’m grateful for quiet moments, for having the windows open, for good music and a little extra sleep. I’m grateful for coffee, for the relationship I have with my grandfather, for service and my sponsor. I’m grateful for the home we have together and for moving a little slower today.
Good morning, friends!
Happy almost Friday and I hope everyone has been enjoying the week :)
Do you guys know that feeling when you’re really invested in your favorite show, or book and the world just slows down for a while?
Do you know that feeling when things have changed, and the way they changed certainly aren’t bad but they kind of make you sad too?
People move, people drift apart, new opportunities happen, small shifts overtime, lead to bigger changes. And everything is okay, there’s nothing bad or wrong, but there’s a little bit of pain too.
And as an alcoholic, especially when it comes to other people, it is easy to fall into “what did I do wrong?” “Was it something I said or did?”
There was loss while I was drinking that I never appropriately grieved then. The loss of a friend when he was 14 from something he absolutely never intended to die from. When my Nana died and the only thing, I wanted to do during her entire funeral was smoke a cigarette. When my grandpa died, and I would have rather died myself then face my parents at his funeral knowing they’d probably send me to rehab, so I didn’t go to his funeral.
I have the opportunity to grieve those things, and others now. But how do you grieve current loss in sobriety while you simultaneously grieve the old things too. Except this grief isn’t over someone dying, it’s as simple as drifting apart.
People come into your life at the exact moment they are supposed to, and magic happens, lessons are learned unforgettable bonds and memories are formed. You grow in the way you are supposed to, and then new people come into your life. And those old experiences can be shared, new ones can be built, and the cycle continues.
It just makes me sad, when one cycle ends. But like a caterpillar cocooning, something beautiful will be here to fly soon enough.
xx
Jane
♥️🐛🌱🦋♥️
👌👌👌