Hello my friends…it’s me :)
Welcome to another week of Growing Pains: Sober Girls Edition!
If you’d like to read this on the website or you can listen, too: Sober Girls - Life’s a Funny Thing
Not that anyone will be surprised to hear this but…I have a lot to say this week so I will try to be as concise as possible today.
Some of you might remember the piece I wrote about the pale blue, stop sign shaped signs on the back of the wall at the 79th Street Workshop, each having one of the famous AA slogans written across in navy blue letters. (Read it here in case you have no idea what I’m talking about ;))
Well, one of those slogans that I neglected to mention is “Life on Life’s Terms.” To normal people, life’s terms are really just life. But if you’re anything like me, life can look like really beautiful high’s filled with love and laughter and sunlight and my favorite cup of coffee and the smell of sage and phone calls from my mom, dad and sister. And the lows can be extraordinarily painful, with tears and sorrow and loneliness, numbness, avoidance, and isolation.
Living life on life’s terms means living through life’s circumstances as they are. Now let me tell yah, life is a funny fucking thing. And we’ve all felt the lows in different ways, that are the result of life being funny.
For example - me drinking my life away for 8 years, putting anything harmful I could find into my body, being sober now and completely healthy. But my mom, who literally breaks out into a rash if she has one single drink and takes seriously good care of herself…she needed to go back to the doctor because they found a questionable spot on her mammogram…that to me is one of the funny things about life. Or loving someone so much and having them hurt you, and having to rebuild through the pain.
But that’s just life in life’s terms…and while it can be really hard sometimes, it's also really beautiful too. Those pivotal moments that happen that you don’t see coming but they change your life. Those moments are beautiful even if at first that start out as one of the really low lows.
My mom’s follow up mammogram was perfectly fine, just a cyst. The person who hurt me, we are closer than ever.
What I am trying to say through this very fragmented piece, is that there is a lesson in everything that happens. If I didn’t have that pivotal moment of “I need to stop drinking and I need to do it now,” I’d still be out there. If my mom didn’t have that moment of fear, we wouldn't have bonded over the messages I hear in AA that I got to share with her to help her through it. If I didn’t get hurt, I wouldn't be so honest about how I’m really feeling now.
So life is funny, but it’s really, really nice on the other side. And I hope anyone who is going through one of the lows right now just hangs on, because there is so much serenity in knowing that the really shitty thing ultimately helped you grow and transform.
Overall, I hope anyone who is reading and needs it knows they aren't alone, that we will all get through it, and all we really need is each other.
P.S I think this was pretty concise if I do say so my self ;)
With so much love always,
Jane
Thank you always for reading 🤍 Always here for anyone who needs !
Another inspirational post from my girl. Continuing to amaze your mom with your sobriety, growth and constant willingness to help others in the program.