I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for vacation in two days, for needlepoint and for coffee. I’m grateful for learning myself and for our little fig tree on the terrace. I’m grateful for patience and change in perspective, my sponsor and my sponsee, for good music and new books.
Good morning my friends!
I hope you have been enjoying the week and are getting ready for the weekend. We are going on vacation starting this Saturday and I truly cannot wait for the beach and my book and my needlepoint and rest….and other fun things that I’ll tell you about next week ;)
In the meantime, I’ve started a new book that I haven’t gotten far enough into to give you a full-on review yet. However, there is this one line that has been sitting with me – Happiness is continually experiencing what you already have in new and different ways.
I can so easily get lost not necessarily in what I don’t have, but in what I’m not doing that I should that is supposed to make me happy.
You guys have heard me talk about it a million times, I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough whether it be actually at work, or on my program. I don’t feel like we looked hard enough for a new apartment, my morning routine isn’t perfect.
But none of that is the point, I don’t think it will ever matter how hard I work, happiness is right in front of me all of the time. It’s repotting the baby fig tree my mom sent us and putting the spider plant outside too, so the tree has company. It’s walking to 73rd instead of 75th on my way to work to get a change of scenery. It’s the things I already have, I am not capable of knowing what in the future will make me happy. I unfortunately am not a future teller folks.
But I am capable of knowing what makes me happy now and continuing to experience those things. So much time is spent in the future or the past, and it really doesn’t have to be that way.
I’m sure I’ll future trip about something as soon as I finish writing this, I’m certainly not perfect but that line in this book has been helping me draw things back to the right now. Living in the present is the best I can do for today, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Xx
Jane
Sometimes I feel or think I’m not working hard enough or I should be some sort of sobriety guru guru w a few years sobriety under my belt....but I mostly feel like I’m not too sure of what I’m doing. Then I think back to what I was like 4 years ago and who I was then and I realize I’m pretty darn proud of myself. I’m not done w my recovery or my growth by a long shot, but I’m pretty sure I’m headed in the right direction. Thx for your writing, I really enjoy it.