I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for the sun pouring into the apartment, for our balcony, for the concert tickets we got, for reading with a sponsee tonight, for coffee, a slow morning, therapy, and HP. I’m grateful to be alive, and to be happy.
Good morning my friends :)
I hope everyone has been having the best week they can this week! Again, just a friendly reminder that I am here if anyone wants to talk during this challenging time (or anytime really…)
Today, I am rapid fire coming to you with therapy in 10 minutes. I was thinking last night during a meeting in which the topic of the meeting was “taking action” about how I like to believe I take a decent amount of action. I sponsor four women, I have been through & continue to go through the steps, I have three service commitments, I make a meeting pretty much everyday. That’s action but what I lack is giving myself grace. For the days that are harder, for the days I am sad, for the days service isn't really helping because I am overwhelmed. Where is the grace and understanding that I so freely give to other people?
Also, a sponsee came to me the other day asking if she was valid for standing up for herself because someone was treating her very poorly. For the record - she was very valid and I’m very proud of her for standing up for herself. But it got me thinking about how as an alcoholic, it is very easy for me to blame everything on my alcoholism. Someone is treating me badly? Well maybe I’m taking it too personally, maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe I can’t handle life on life's terms because I’m an alcoholic.
The bottom line for me is, yes I’m a drunk in recovery. But I am also human. And because of my alcoholism I do not have to let people treat me however they so choose. BECAUSE I am an alcoholic I can stand up for myself with dignity, and kindness. I can accept people and situations for exactly who and what they are. But I do not ever have to let myself be in a bad situation again, or just deal with it because I feel like I have to because I’m an alcoholic.
So today, my humanness showed up via the closet full of clothes that I have - but pulling a hoodie from the hamper because that’s what I wanted to wear today. I made the bed this morning even though we have a new comforter and sheets on the way because I like my home to be tidy, because I’m human.
I’m ebbing and flowing in and out of a hard time, because I’m human. Because I am a sober alcoholic, I texted a friend this morning who I only have because of the program Alcoholics Anonymous. We both laughed and that joy I feel is because I’m human.
So maybe today, let’s appreciate our humanness a little extra. Because I am so grateful to feel the things I do and live the life I have due to the fact that I am both a human and an alcoholic.
xx
Jane
Hi! " The bottom line for me is, yes I’m a drunk in recovery. But I am also human. And because of my alcoholism I do not have to let people treat me however they so choose. BECAUSE I am an alcoholic I can stand up for myself with dignity, and kindness." Very, very well said. Can be one of those 'walking a tightrope' areas. Thanks.