I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a relaxing few days, the start of something new, and for reading with my sponsor yesterday. I am grateful for my sponsees, for speaking at a meeting yesterday, for how much support I have and the willingness to be better. I am grateful for my peepa, for writing and for boundaries.
Good morning my friends!
As always, I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend and is feeling refreshed for the week ahead :) It’s a gloomy, rainy day here in New York but thanks to all the rain we’ve been having, my spider plant is finally having a baby!!! I’m a proud plant mom, which is most certainly a gift of AA ;)
In other news, today is my first day at my new job, and in typical Jane fashion I am feeling a lot of things. There’s definitely happiness and relief however, as many of you know there's also a lot of fear. But it’s not just fear of the unknown as I’ve been sharing about - It’s imposter syndrome, fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of not being good enough.
I was reflecting on how I got this job in the first place, through someone I’ve previously worked with who I reached out to and asked for help. She put the good word in, but I took care of the rest during the interviews.
Nothing I said during the interviews was a lie, all of my experience is real, all of my hard work is real, all of my determination, persistence, and care is real. So why in my mind has everything changed because I am now working with the same woman who helped me in the first place?
I know for a fact, what I am walking into today is the best next step for me. I know for a fact I am having a ton of growing pains. I also know that I’ve done hard things before so why can’t I do this?
First and foremost, I got sober. If i can do that i can do anything. I have walked through challenging and painful situations with my Higher Power by my side, things I never thought I would ever be able to make it through and I did. I have handled hard conversations with dignity and respect, I prayed my way through all of those interviews. HP is not going to give me anything I can't handle, and if I can make it through all the other things, I can make it through this.
Working hard has always been very important to me but often I sacrifice my boundaries in the process. I know now that I can be a hard worker and not lose myself in a job ever again. My morning routine is non-negotiable, one meeting a day is non-negotiable, and picking up the phone for my sponsees is non-negotiable.
I can do all of those things, and still try my best at this new job. I can be myself because that’s how I got this job in the first place and above all else, I can walk into this knowing that HP is right by my side.
xx
Jane
Agh, first days....good luck in the new job, you are meant to be there!
Ooooh, congratulations on the new job! You've got this - just like you got the job! Awesome, Jane!