If We're Being Completely Honest...
Daily Gratitude List - April 24th, 2023
I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a sunny morning, for step work and for a relaxing weekend. I’m grateful for a fresh week, for the lessons I learn along the way and for coffee in the morning. I’m grateful for time spent together, good books and reconnecting with old friends. I’m grateful for my favorite music and for the opportunity to change.
Good morning, friends!
Happy Monday :) As always, I hope you had a great weekend and are excited to face a fresh week.
I am happy to report that as of last night, I finished Drop the Rock and I am really focusing on positive changes, attitude changes and behavior/thinking changes. Which to be completely honest, I have not been doing a great job of making said changes the past three days.
There’s a line in DTR that speaks to still being accountable. Yes, we are turning over to HP and surrendering however, just because we know that HP will always take care of us, doesn’t mean we can go out and be assholes with zero accountability or responsibility.
So, from Thursday night all the way through yesterday, I was completely operating on self-will. All my thoughts and most of my actions were completely based on self. I was turning to HP but so quickly defaulting back to my defects. Or liabilities which some like to call them.
I personally don’t mind calling them defects because we all have them. Whether you are in a Twelve Step Program or just an average person, every single one of us has a few defects because we are human. Not because we are broken and need to be recalled, but because we are people living human experiences every day. And defects/liabilities can be changed/corrected. It just takes some work.
I know that my HP forgives me for running riot on myself the past few days. I know my HP knows I want to be better. I know HP can’t help me with my defects if I am actively practicing them. I have some work to do.
I heard a wonderful qualification on Saturday and the speaker shared about living an analytical life. Analyzing, why am I having this though, why did I just do that etc.
To me that means identifying what feeling is causing what reaction and analyzing the next right positive change or action.
So today, my goal is to be better than I was yesterday. To be an observer rather than the director, and to take a step back and really turn to HP. Help is a complete prayer and sometimes, as a woman of too many words, help is all that I need to say.
Xx
Jane
Such wise words, Jane. I loved these ones in particular: "To be an observer rather than the director..." 🌸
Is HP “His Providence”?