It's All Good
This Week on Diary of a Sober Girl
I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for the sunshine, for AA, for seeing my friends yesterday and for a slow weekend. I’m grateful for my home, for my family, for the AC and for opportunities to do the right thing. I’m grateful that nothing lasts forever (particularly the bad things), for summer time, for music and books.
Hello my friends! Hope everyone had a nice weekend (:Â
Posting a little afternoon post today because I’m trying to move a little slower & get my nervous system to understand that I don’t have to post before noon and if I don’t the Earth isn’t going to spin off its axis. So hello, happy afternoon. Hope everyone is caffeinated and enjoying the day and if you’re here in NYC I hope you’re staying cool in this heat.Â
All of that said, despite it being 2 o'clock I still don’t know what I want to write. I’ve been feeling a little down again, I think the events of the past 6 months are catching up to me physically. I don’t really want to do or say much, I’ve been uncomfortable in my skin again. I just want to lay and read and not worry about anything, especially not the state of the world.Â
But that's not realistic so I get up and go about my day anyway but I feel blocked. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually I just feel blocked. And honestly, I hate to write about it when I feel this way because I feel like the past two YEARS have been a constant up and down and I really want to be able to come here feeling even. But that’s also not realistic because that’s just not how life works. Some days are good, some few days or months are good. It’s been a GOOD few months. I’m so grateful for my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my dog (my friend's cat (; and my other friend's dog too of course), our apartment that is safe, my job that is wonderful and fulfilling.Â
But sometimes even with all that good I still feel down. And today is going to be a short post apparently (I’m flying by the tips of my fingers guys) because I think I’m just trying to validate my feelings right now. I don’t feel overtly happy and I don’t feel overtly sad. I am just down and that’s okay. There’s always an up. There’s not always an explanation. There’s not going to be a drink. It just is what it is. And so I will finish writing here, I will finish work, I will spend some time with a sweet & sassy little kitty who will most definitely make me smile. I will do service, followed by more service and then I will come home, do a tiny bit more service and go to bed. And tomorrow will be a new day - maybe I’ll feel better, maybe I won't and that is totally okay.Â
So my shtick is - if you feel down too it’s okay. And if you don’t feel down I can’t wait to feel better so I can be right there with you. Because that’s the thing, I know eventually I’ll feel better so in the meantime, everything is all good.Â
xx Â
Jane