I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a quiet morning and for working from home. I’m grateful for coffee, candles, Timmys birthday, my sponsor's anniversary, the sun shining through the window, my family, my friends and for having safely made it home from Las Vegas.
Good morning my friends! I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend, had some time to relax or maybe catch up on some chores, whatever a nice weekend looks like for you I hope you did it :)
First and foremost, given the state of the world currently, this is an incredibly challenging time for many if not all of us. There aren’t any right words or right things to say, what is going on is a tragedy. But as we face these challenges I beg all of you not to drink. And if anyone needs to talk, I am more than happy to be here to do so.
Much like last week I don’t have anything miraculous to say, no profound opinions or thoughts on my program, how it’s improving or where I can do better. I am using today mainly as a check in, a status update. Kind of like when I would post journal entries but not as organized and pretty ;)
We made it home from Las Vegas on Thursday night. Got into JFK a little earlier than expected and I cannot explain the joy I felt when I finally saw my home so high in the sky. As I mentioned, I have so much gratitude for the experiences we had while we were away, for being able to be with my family and my Dad on his birthday and I am in fact proud of my mom for finally getting back on a plane after so many years. But being away also gives me so much gratitude for the home I have and this perfectly chaotic but beautiful and incredible city I live in.
I did, however, work on Thursday. While getting through TSA, boarding, waiting for an hour in the plane for the wifi to start working. That was stressful and again - I am incredibly grateful to be in one place today while working and for Timmy and his patience and support while I was freaking out over the lack of wifi.
Speaking of Timmy, yesterday was his birthday!! Two birthdays we've now spent together, surrounded by friends. You guys get the point on the gratitude but it really was a wonderful day. October is a crazy month for us - we have my dads birthday, Tims sister's birthday, Tims birthday, my sponsor's anniversary (on the same day as Tim's birthday, shout out to her for celebrating three years!!!).Then we have my moms birthday, Tims other sisters birthday, and finally Tims brothers birthday. I’m exhausted just typing all of it.
I asked HP for help yesterday in getting back into a routine, it’s really as simple as that sometimes. Just asking for help - not going to HP with what I think are the solutions. Just asking for their guidance. This morning I showered before writing, I didn’t make it to the gym, I peacefully enjoyed my coffee for about 5 seconds before I made the bed, cleaned up a little and sat down here. I still need to pray and journal and brush my teeth and put makeup on. My phone vibrates way too much. I have an affirmation app that sends me three affirmations every hour from 9am - 9pm and quite frankly, they are starting to get annoying and overwhelming.
I’m excited for a fresh week at work. A little anxious as I still navigate getting rid of some old attachments and fear. I spoke at a meeting on Friday and I haven’t had a drink. I’ve spent time with friends and family and things are pretty okay. Anything outside of that that isn't okay, more than likely just lives inside of my head, not anywhere in reality.
So the title of this post today is “It’s As Simple As…” because sometimes it’s just as simple as asking for help. Or getting your thoughts down on paper. Or expressing some gratitude. Or saying no. Or saying yes. Or not saying anything. Sometimes..it’s actually really simple.
xx
Jane
Love this, Jane. As simple as just asking for help...from sources known and unknown...without needing to know the answer or figure out the solution. Blessings to you!