I’m so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for dragging myself to the gym but also sleeping in when I need it. I’m grateful I was able to pay for our tickets to Disney, for Timmy and I being together 2 years tomorrow, and for friends who make my smile. I’m grateful for coffee, good music, AA, my family, my sponsor and my sponsees.
Good morning my friends (: Happy leap year day!!!! (Is that a thing??) I hope everyone has been having a lovely week and enjoys this extra day of the year!
I for one just paid all of my bills and am wondering if because we get a 366th day our bills just don’t count today? No?
Anyway, I hope you have a nice February 29th and I am here to say…I don’t know what. It’s hard sometimes writing these, hoping you help at least one person. I don’t write as much as maybe I should about the Steps or the Big Book. But I try the best I can to show up as my authentic self and share how my sobriety is at the center of my everyday.
It might not always seem like that, I get lost in work or my head or just life a lot. I’ve noticed about myself lately that so much of my value or how I see my value comes down to how I’m performing at work. I’ve shared that here before and obviously it’s something I need to work on. My value starts within myself.
I also have been super in my head lately, caring a lot about what other people think unless I’m listening to Tool to which everyone *insert sparkles* can go fuck themselves *close sparkles*
I’m kidding but the over all point is that I certainly have a lot of self discovery and work to do but it’s nice to know that my perspective is shifting. And my relationship with HP is deepening and it might not look perfect and in the moment some things can feel like the WORST things is happening, but I’m totally content in my little sober world.
And maybe I don’t always say the most helpful thing and maybe my opinions are wrong and maybe my obsession with Tool is weird but I try my best. I’m still learning to stand on my own two feet in many ways and that is okay.
I wonder if anyone ever stops learning to stand on their own?
The point is AA has never left me in any of the high or low moments (more like I never left AA) and I’m still learning and growing every day and I hope, through all of my scatterbrained thoughts I help at least one of you.
Happy leap day (;
Xx
Jane