I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a wonderful vacation, for seeing our friends, for service, for my sponsor and sponsees. I’m grateful for one more day off from work, for a clean home, for rest, for books and for HP. I’m grateful for the things that make me so happy and for the lessons I continue to learn.
Goooood morning my friends!
First and foremost, apologies for all the typos in last week’s post, my only excuse is that I was itching to get my Disney on…this week I promise spell check is on and I will be re-reading before posting🫡
Secondly (as per usual) I hope everyone had/is still having a wonderful weekend. 🤗
I personally, am not very thrilled about being home. I love Disney SO much and when we got back, I had a complete break down because I feel like every day is groundhogs’ day.
When I was drinking it was also most definitely groundhogs’ day and I ‘m so grateful to have a job, to be able to go on vacation, to have a family, friends, a partner, an apartment. To not be hurting people anymore, to not be hurting myself, all the things.
But I feel like now, every day is work and AA and work and AA and work and AA and escaping into books at night. So, there’s a couple of ways to look at that - my first thought during my mental break down was I’m going to go buy a Disney book and read that. But am I just running? Am I seeking external things to escape? What internal work am I not doing?
I feel that kind of lost that I haven’t felt in a long time. ALSO though, what can I do to break up my routine? I think corporate America can make us sort of rigid sometimes and I must remember that I am working to live, not living to work. It was SO nice to go to different meetings while we were away, it was SO nice to take a break from all the normal things. So, what can I do to still have those breaks when we’re not on vacation? What can I do that brings me so much joy, that makes me feel at ease?
Where do I need to look internally and change some things? I’ll be okay, it will pass, and the answers will come most of you already know where I’m going to say those answers will come from. But today I’d like to take a step all the way back, continue to move slow and not get lost in the sauce as I like to say…meaning, not getting lost in all the things going on, busy days at work, long nights, the small external things.
Today we’re just going to enjoy the sauce and not get lost 😉
xx
Jane
Hi Miss Jane! I love reading your posts. They seem to always say what I'm feeling, but haven't actually realized I'm feeling. Thank you for giving me clarity. It sounds like it is time for you to update your goals. You have achieved so much. Now maybe I can help you. It may be the time to dream of those things you have always wanted but never did because you were drinking. An independent research project, a new hobby, learning a sport... Invest your long nights in a mission to enrich your soul. Respectfully sent to you with love.