I am so grateful to be sober. I am grateful for so much sun yesterday, and for all of the new meetings we’ve been going to. I am grateful for my plants making it through all these stormy days, for having a job that allows me to work from home, moments of peace and conversations with HP.
Good morning my friends :)
As always, I hope everyone is having a wonderful week and shout out to all of the Seattle folks who left comments on Monday’s post!! Quick update - we saw the sun over here yesterday and it was so nice to sit outside for a while. Today we are back to rain and we likely won’t see the sun again until Sunday. I feel like I’m living in the New York version of Twilight…less vampires, werewolves and those soaring trees I hope to see in person one day.
Anyway, my cup is empty guys. I often put a lot of pressure on myself to write these long, hopefully helpful pieces but it dawned on me yesterday that I don't have a lot to give right now. I can’t be helpful or supportive if there is nothing left in my own cup.
So today this is all I got - I need to put the oxygen mask on myself for a while. There has been a lot of change, I’m struggling with finding a new routine, service keeps me sober but I do it a little alcoholicley so maybe I need to pull back, I would love to pick up a book that has nothing to do with trauma, recovery, or self-help. I am most certainly not shutting the door on my program but I really need to refill here. And that to me sounds super selfish (when I’ve already been feeling like I’ve been super selfish lately) but it’s absolutely mandatory that I take care of myself and my brain so the rest doest come crashing down too.
I’m sorry if this isn't helpful today…but If anyone is feeling a little empty too - let’s refill our cups and we’ll be back to better soon :)
xx
Jane
Putting yourself first is never selfish -- sometimes it's survival. I have no idea where we got the cultural narrative prioritizing taking care of yourself is wrong, but it's not. We all need more models of how to fill our own cups before even *thinking* about anyone else's cup -- so thanks for doing that today.
Self awareness of how you are feeling is so important to recovery. Taking care of yourself needs to be a priority. We can be no good to the people we love if we aren’t in a good place physically mentally emotionally spiritually. For me recovery has many facets besides not drinking,....service, meetings, prayer, meditation, healthy diet, exercise, study, sleep, laughter, etc,,,,Good for you for recognizing it and reminding me!