One Foot in Yesterday & One in Tomorrow
So what about today? - DGL 7/24/23
I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for speaking at a women’s meeting over the weekend, for time with friends and for the people who support me. I’m grateful for genuine connections and understanding, for showing up for service, for my sponsor and sponsee. I’m grateful for good music, good sleep, my journals, and coffee.
Good morning my friends :)
As always, I hope everyone had a nice weekend and you’re feeling recharged for the fresh week ahead!
I personally am not ready to rejoin the real-world post vacation. Being at the beach was the most at peace I have felt in a while despite a few stressors here and there. But now that I’m home and while I set some post birthday goals for this year, something I would really like to do is be more present.
I know this is something I’ve talked about before and something I’m sure we’ve all felt, but that feeling of peace I had while I was on vacation is one, I really don’t want to lose. I so easily get lost in the day to day, I try to have a calm morning, but then I get a phone call or an email or I start to get anxious, and it just rolls into the next hour and the next. Before I know it that day is gone and all I’ve really done is gone through the motions but was I ever really present?
I also so easily get lost in what’s next. What’s going to happen next month, what’s going to happen next year, the next few months are going to fly by and how am I going to hold on to it? But am I ever just thinking about the 24 hours ahead? Not really, until we were away, and I didn’t let myself go that far in my head.
Recently, I have been working on stopping myself from judging myself. For example, when I do something and my brain tells me “Oh that was so embarrassing and that person is now going to think you’re bat shit crazy”, I am learning to stop that thought in its tracks and say to myself “no, you are an imperfect person and the only person thinking that way right now is you”.
So why can’t I take that same train of thought and apply it to being present? No, you don’t have to think about what’s going to happen tomorrow because all you have right now is today. No, you don’t have to fly around the apartment and out the door at the speed of light, because you are allowed to sit with yourself and prepare for the day, everyone will get responded to later.
I heard in a meeting once that us alcoholics have one foot in yesterday, one foot in tomorrow and we are shitting all over today. I certainly tend to shit all over the present and that isn’t something I would like to do any more. And it’s as simple as that, consciously making the choice to change something, and then putting in the work to do so even if it’s small little baby steps as first.
So, this morning, I am sitting on the balcony with a cup of coffee (we bought a coffee maker on the way home from the beach, best decision ever!!), I am writing here with all of you. After I will leave my phone inside, journal and spend some time with myself. I will not rush, I’ll read pages 86-88 in the Big Book, and I’ll let HP carry me through the day. And that’s all I really need.
Xx
Jane
Love the beach ⛱️ I hear ya!!! Never heard the "one foot in yesterday...".but sounds pretty accurate 😂😂