I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for service and the opportunity to speak at a meeting yesterday. I’m grateful for a sunny morning, that my family made it home safe, for the chance to reset a little and for my new journal. I’m grateful for AA, good friends, and coffee.
Good morning my friends :)
As always, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and are feeling rested and recharged for the week ahead.
I have decided that I am going to try and hold on to the vacation mind set for as long as possible. Which means to me, no rushing around. Not trying to shove everything into a 12-hour day. Making space for gratitude every day, not skipping my 12:30pm meeting because I know I have another one a 6:15pm, making space for some time with myself and time with HP.
It’s so easy to slip back into the I must do everything right now mind set…and I would really love to find that place of neutrality. The place of – everything will get done, but it doesn’t have to be right this second.
I have spoken about time here before – specifically about using our time to align with our values. When I have time to really slow down, I can see clearly what my values are and how I am wrongly spending my time.
I get so overwhelmed and grumpy from work, and then I stomp into my 6:15 meeting in which I feel better until I go to sleep, and the cycle just perpetuates itself the next day and the next.
I love to spend time writing, taking photos, with my family and Tim, with my sponsor, with my fellows, at meetings and talking to other alcoholics. I don’t have to sacrifice those things.
I am also sitting here, trying to write, and realizing I’m a little afraid to do so today. Something happened that reminded me of the way I felt when I was applying to collages. I had a portfolio review at my dream school, and they told me “Why would anyone pay to have this photo hanging in their house.” I have that feeling of doubt creeping back in today. Like what I write isn’t what you guys want to hear.
I must remind myself that what I write is my truth, what I write is meant to help people, show others that if I can do it sober so can you. So, I hope that what I have to say helps at least one person, and that today we all try to spend a little more time aligning with our values.
xx
Jane
“I must do everything right now mind set…and I would really love to find that place of neutrality.”
This is me. I’m naturally inclined in this exhausting way. Thx for sharing.
A great message to hear on a Monday. Thanks, Jane.