I'm grateful for calm days leading up to a big event. I'm grateful for learning more about how A.A. came to be in the early years. I'm grateful for my favorite podcasts being released this morning. I'm grateful for seeing growth in others as it teaches me how to keep on this path. I'm grateful for randomly finding the affirmation stone from my first ever A.A. meeting that I thought I had lost. I am grateful for the new gadgets I was able to install on my car in preparation for our road trip. I'm grateful to be reminded of the impact fellows who've gone still have on us as I feel that's HP at work.
I've started attending a virtual Denver AA meeting since the New Year and one of the topics this past week was gratitude. Towards the end a fellow shared the importance of recognizing what we're "grateful for" versus what we're "grateful to". She noted that the difference in prepositions allows us to embrace humility in distinct ways.
When I utilize "to" I focus on the relationship I have with the source of my gratitude - usually a person or an entity. With "for" I'm centering the result or circumstances of my situation, not necessarily the provider. For example...
I'm grateful for sunlight
I'm grateful to the sun
This difference is interesting and not something I've thought about much when writing out my daily gratitude lists. I like the reframing around identifying the root cause of my gratitude as it enables me to appreciate the original individual or entity more. And perhaps if I have that focused appreciation of something tangible I can be of more service to them/it in the future - especially during times I don't feel so positively towards them/it.
Along these lines I imagine this is where greater humility enters as the Denver fellow said. Knowing that I got to this place of gratitude for something because another lead me to it, or allowed me to have it, I put myself in a place of humility. I came upon this realization in conjunction with another's assistance. By de-centering me in the equation, I can acknowledge the powers at work greater than myself.
Finally looking at gratitude from different angles using "for" and "to" lets me sit with the feeling longer and excavate more layers of understanding. How is my relationship with "the Root" (i.e., the sun) and "the Cause" (i.e., sunlight) today? How has that changed over time? How do I anticipate it changing in the future? These word distinctions provide me a great opportunity to look upon matters in multi-dimensional ways.
With all this rumination on "for" vs. "to" I figured I can end by doing an exercise around what falls into each category for me right now.
I have gratitude to...
My parents, my ancestors, my Higher Power, my partner, my sponsor & sponsee, fellows in this program, Harper, family members and friends who've stuck around and who haven't, AA's founders, people pursuing creative paths, park caretakers, the people I learnt from during the very early days of sober living, and myself for finally gaining the courage to be on this journey of betterment.
I have gratitude for...
Health, financial stability, freedom, meetings, long-form writing, daily gratitude lists, living in NYC, time serving as a healer, walking through discomfort instead of finding ways around it, being an alcoholic and the world it has opened up for me, knowing how exercise improves my spirit, listening to strangers share their deepest truths honestly & impactfully.
P.S. Another example of prepositions mattering came up in yesterday's Daily Reflection: "Freedom from" and "Freedom to". Something for me to ponder as well. 🤔
Interesting thoughts today. I would suggest putting the two together- I am grateful to.... for....--- this is the problem I have with toxic positivity- no prepositions. I get particularly irked at thanksgiving time. “Grateful” - ugh. What happened is they removed “to” because that originally implied God- so now they can proceed with selling platters, gravy boats etc freed from all that