I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for a quiet and relaxing weekend, for memories of my Peepa and for HP. I’m grateful for Drop the Rock, for my sponsor and for the 6th and 7th steps. I’m grateful for coffee, for my spider plant that looks like it’s growing and to have options.
Good morning, friends!
I hope everyone had a wonderful, restful, and relaxing weekend this weekend and is feeling ready to take on the weekend ahead :)
So, some of you know that we have this beautiful orchid that I have been keeping alive since October. I was recently gifted a spider plant as well which seems to be happily growing and has inspired me to make our terrace a little garden and/or jungle for the summer.
However, this morning I noticed that two of our poor orchid’s stems are turning brown and dying. Devastated I am. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep her alive and I think the weather last week was just a little too warm (it was hotter than Satan’s bedroom last week) for her to say alive.
I assure you I am not here to talk just about my poor.dying.plant….but to speak on how ironic it is that just last night I was reading Drop the rock as a part of my step work for steps 6 and 7, and in the book it talks about how you can’t abuse yourself, ridicule and beat yourself into spirituality. You can’t make a flower bloom with a sledgehammer, only God can make flowers bloom.
I may have had a little to do with my orchid now dying but similar to what I spoke about last week, my orchid dying is just a part of the cycle. She wasn’t meant to stay alive forever, and I am also not meant to stay in the same spiritual spot forever either. I cannot berate myself into continuing to grow when I feel a little lost, only God can help me with that.
And the making a flower bloom with a sledgehammer was just what I needed to hear. Because perhaps, if I stop torturing myself for what I could to better, or I should do this different or I should do that different…I’ll finally allow some space for God to help me to bloom…
So, I hope we can all put down the sledgehammer, at least for today. And if anyone has any tips for reviving the orchid, please let me know ;)
P.S. I still have a hard time with the word God and prefer Higher Power however, I did not have the energy to type Higher Power 8 different times. Please feel free to swap the word God, with whatever suits you best!
xx
Jane
I tried to cheer my orchid up last year by giving it some light - I popped it into the conservatory on far too hot a day and SCORCHED it in the hot, inescapable sun. It survived, but it still hasn't grown out the crispiness on two of its leaves - and every time I look at it I feel scolded!
I'd hankered after a spider plant for ages and hadn't got around to picking one up - I had been going to put 'spider plant' on my birthday list last year, and then right before my birthday someone gave me one which a friend couldn't accommodate any more. I was THRILLED!!! Still going strong (no scorching THERE)....
Two of my three orchids just began blooming again in my kitchen windowsill. I thought they were goners because I forgot to water them for a period of time I’m ashamed to say.