Tiny Little Steps

This Week on Diary of a Sober Girl

---

I’m so grateful to be sober. I’m grateful for a short work week this week, for a day to myself and a day with my family. I’m grateful for Timmy’s birthday tomorrow, for our friends and for our life together. I’m grateful for a slow morning, for a sleepy puppy, for coffee and a house full of groceries. I’m grateful to work from home, for comfy sweatshirts, for the fall, for my sponsor, AA and service.

---

Goooood morning my friends (:

As always, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, you’re feeling ready for the fresh week ahead.

I am off from work this Thursday and Friday and truly the fact that I only have to make it through three days is everything I need to make it a good week.

I know last week’s post wasn’t necessarily the most positive and quite honestly, I still feel pretty much the same as I did last Monday. God didn’t come down and whisk my blah feelings away in the past week BUT I’ve done tiny little bite sized things that feel like tiny little steps forward.

Instead of continuing with The Artists Way my sponsor and I started reading the 12/12. Which feels like a nice way to quickly go back through the steps and really hit on the ones I need the most. I need to expand my conception of God; I need to revisit turning my will and my life over. I’m going through a little bit of an agnostic period which I NEVER thought would happen. And it’s nice to remember that even when I’m unsure HP is always there.

I need to do a fresh Step 4 and 5. Take a new look at my defects, get back on the horse with 10 and 11.

My sponsor has me writing why I’m still in AA today and how I am powerless currently. Because yes yes I know I’m powerless over alcohol. But in this current moment, I’m also powerless over my fear. And that fear is as big as I’m going to get fired and be homeless on the street with my dog, to as little as Tim is going to hate me because I haven’t gotten him anything for his birthday other than dinner tomorrow.

All in all, it feels like a step in the right direction. Back to basics in a way. And my sponsor reminded me yesterday that I didn’t get sober to be paralyzed by fear all the time. I got sober to have a life but what kind of life is one that is filled with terror.

So hopefully this leaves everyone on a more optimistic note that last week. Because I am feeling just a tiny bit better than last Monday. And that’s the thing, it always gets better even if it starts small.

Xx

Jane