I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for my network of sober people who help me everyday, for adventures and visiting new places. I’m grateful for reminders, comfy sweatshirts, my sponsor and sponsees. I’m grateful for a safe plane ride yesterday, for sunshine, for coffee and for peace.
Good morning my friends!
Coming at yah bright and early, live from Las Vegas :) It’s strange, it feels like there are so few rules here on this one strip so different from the strong mountains and peaceful palm trees. There’s smoking and drinking and partying but right outside the window in the distance there is peace.
Very existential of me today, no? I carry with me everywhere I go the saying I once heard - you can go anywhere and do anything as long as you’re connected to your Higher Power. Now, I certainly don’t recommend that someone counting days visiting the pit of hell (aka Las Vegas, no offense). People, places and things are very real and it certainly is a challenge to see everyone and their mother (literally) drinking and gambling and clubbing. However, I also feel confident in my connection with my Higher Power, and as long as I really plug into that connection while we are here, I’ll be okay,
And it really is a gift to be able to show up for my dad across the country for his birthday. Previously, while I was drinking, visiting my family 2 hours away was not something I was willing to do.
But today, Timmy and I have suited up and showed up. That to me is a blessing.
Now, what I really wanted to talk about today was the feeling of relief that I get to take a little break from my everyday routine but also the uncomfortable feeling I have, not being able to participate in my normal routine. Also, the constant state of paranoia I can often live in as well. I don’t want to live this way anymore in perpetual fear that something bad is going to happen, to me or someone I care about. It’s quite suffocating and the answer is obviously God. The same with the routine, instead of focusing on what I’m not doing that I usually do in the morning, or trying to recreate exactly what I do to spare myself a meltdown, perhaps I practice some gratitude. For my first long distance trip with Timmy, for my family, for a job that allows me to work from anywhere. For the beautiful mountains that watch over us from afar, for the sun that’s about to rise over them and paint the sky in gold and for the little tiny reminders everywhere that HP is with me, regardless of how paranoid I can get.
Xx
Jane
We are so grateful that you suited up and showed up for this trip. You are 1 of our greatest blessings. We are also grateful that you have a strong network of support and strength inside of yourself to be able to navigate this very challenging city.