I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for my family, my friends, and the beautiful program I have. I am grateful for a sober new year, for learning about the history of the workshop last night and for participating in my first ever sober countdown. I am grateful to be surrounded by really wonderful people, to be healthy, to be financially stable, to have a home and to be around for another year.
Happy New Year my friends!
As always, i hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday weekend and wishing everyone one of you the happiest of new years. I hope the year ahead is filled with health and happiness and when the road may get a little tough, that you remember those are the spaces where the most growth can be found and as I constantly say, no one ever has to go through the rough alone.
At promptly 10:56 this morning it dawned on me that it’s Monday…and I had written here yet. So please forgive the delay! While today is the start of a new year, it is also my two year sober anniversary.
I would love to say that all of the anniversary reflecting is what made me late here but I was really casually sipping coffee, talked to HP and learned about deductibles because that is a gift of sobriety I am super grateful for but was certainly unaware of.
I am beyond grateful for two beautiful sober years, filled with so much love and friendship and support and growth and sure trial and tribulations but also joys and new experiences.
I have learned so much in the past two years but am also just beginning. I can’t ever forget that I am still so very green and am learning new things about myself every single day. Yah know my first year, every sober breath I took was a miracle. Every day and month was a milestone and putting that much space between me and a drink was a huge fucking deal.
And it’s still a huge deal for sure. When I hit 90 days, everyone reminded me that 91 came after. And I knew that, I knew the next day was just another sober day to face. But when I hit one year I think I was expecting to feel cured. Just like how when I did my 5th step, I was expecting to feel lighter the next day. In reality, I felt exactly the way I did the day before.
Today, I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday. Not anymore sober or holy. But when I look back and reflect on the past year there has been so much growth. I stretched really far out of my comfort zone and I spent a little less time being so mean to myself. Any mistake, or set back didn’t mean my program was falling to shit, or that I wasn’t connected enough or that I was doing something wrong. It just meant I had room to be better the next day.
I got into huge fights, I got a new job, I faced my first sober holiday party, I got angry and I cried and I still have BIG emotions during small situations. But you know what comes after 730 days? 731.
I still have so much room to grow, I always will. I can be self righteous and selfish and in rage. But I also still show up to do service, I always answer the phone if a sober person calls and if I don’t pick up right away I will always call back. If we’re not growing we are dying and I always want to be growing.
I made a list of goals and intentions for this next year and a vision board (above) that includes the typical things like being more healthy but also things like finding more love for and confidence in myself. Strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power, spend less time in rage, wear my sobriety like a loose garment.
So this next year absolutely will not be perfect, but it will be as good as I make it and I plan to make it the best I can.
Welcome to 2024 ;)
xx
Jane
Jane, there are no words to accurately convey how proud I am of you. I’m grateful that you are here with us, healthy and making beautiful memories with our family. I look forward to watching you grow in your amazing program. You truly inspire me every day. I love you!
Happy Sober Anniversary, Jane, and Happy New Year! I always love reading your posts — this one is filled with so much insight and wisdom. Your Mom and I are so proud of you and all of your obvious growth over these past two years. Thank you for choosing sobriety and for all that you do to help others choose sobriety every day.