What Happens When You've Found The One
The Right Sponsor That Is...Daily Gratitude List - February 27th, 2023
I am so grateful to be sober today. I am grateful for three new journals, and for a relaxing weekend. I’m grateful for making time to read again, for conversations with my sponsor and for learning how to make space for the things that make me happy. I’m grateful for good workouts, good friends and good coffee.
Good morning, friends, happy Monday! As always, I hope everyone had a great weekend and you are feeling ready to tackle the week ahead :)
This weekend was spent reading, journaling, and doing some step work but most importantly, I had a wonderful conversation with my sponsor last night that I really needed to have. It started with just some questions I had about Step Four and ended with storytelling and so many laughs.
There’s so much relief that comes with having a sponsor you feel truly connected to. Who you can be vulnerable and honest with.Who you can be 100% yourself with and not feel ashamed or judge because your sponsors been through it too.
And so, everyone knows, it took me almost a year to find the right sponsor for me. I had two before her who were great, but my sponsor now is someone who helps me work my program the way it work for me, laughs with me over silly stuff and is so unbelievably patient with me.
I talked to her too about how sometimes I feel like a fraud. Because I sit here and try to encourage all of you, but I can be so unbelievably sensitive. Sensitive to tone and energies and all the things and I am very quick to think people are mad at me.
I’ve come to understand that I genuinely feel like all my relationships are so fragile, and at the drop of the hat someone will leave for someone else who is better than me.
But my sponsor kindly reminded me that I am in fact not a fraud, but a person who wakes up every day and tries to work through sensitivity, overthinking, anxiety, and fear all while not picking up a drink.
And if the best thing I can do is spread the message, encourage, help as many people as I can, then I’m doing pretty okay.
So with that, I hope everyone enjoys the day today and remembers that if the best thing you did was help someone else, or not drink, or try to be a little less anxious today, then you are doing pretty damn good.
Sending love always and I'll see you again on Thursday!
xx
Jane
The right sponsor is so important, but I was told initially to just DO it, ask someone and not worry about “mating for life” … so that’s what I did. My first two sponsors were fun to hang with but both ended up relapsing! My next one was “the one” and was my sponsor for 10 years until she passed and I cried like a baby. We were quite opposite in many ways , she was southern and lesbian, I’m a cis Yankee, and she was disabled … which got me to drive her to meetings and have amazing discussions before and after. At nearly 29 years sober now, I’m without a sponsor currently due to moving and my former sponsor’s death, but have several old timer friends I can bounce anything by as needed. Thanks for the reminder … I need to make that essential connection again.
Third time around also worked for me for finding a sponsor. AA has great literature on being a sponsor, the sponsor/sponsee relationship, and changing sponsors if need be.