When Nothing Happens

This Week on Diary of a Sober Girl

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I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for the trees blooming despite the headaches, for seeing my sponsor on Saturday and for us finally living so close to each other. I’m grateful for quiet bus rides through the park. I’m grateful for AA, for coffee and catching up on reading, fresh flowers, not dreading Monday morning, and for a clean apartment.

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Good morning & hope you had a nice weekend as always my friends (: Sorry for the delay today! 

I’m having a bit of writer's block this morning. Or perhaps for the first time in what feels like literally forever nothing has happened this past week that has been a) fucking traumatic or b) brought on any epiph-iracle thoughts (disclaimer: by Jane definition epiph-iracle means I have not had any epiphany’s -- can we can make that a real word??) 

I had a good week and the biggest thing that happened is we got a new coffee table that really opens up the room (and my parents became Disney Vacation Club members therefore so did I but that’s a convo for a different forum I think). It’s nice to have nothing happen. To feel okay. It takes a lot of effort to not sit in anxiety waiting for the other shoe to drop when nothing happens. But I like this feeling and I think I’d like to hold onto it for a while.

A ton of shit has changed over the past few months. The way I look at AA, the way I look at my friends, the way I look at my home and my job and my relationship. But I really do believe through all of the shit, and it’s so beyond cliche, that we came out closer and stronger and happier. 

And so I’m really grateful that nothing has happened. That I don’t have anything life changing to write about. That I can just sit here and say to anyone who needs it or who is new to sobriety please please don’t drink or use I promise it gets better. And it might also get really bad. But that’s life I guess. And you don’t have to drink and it will get better then too and then eventually nothing will happen and it will actually be pretty wonderful. 

Technically another shoe isn’t going to drop. Life is just going to happen. And then I’ll have writing material!! Kidding, seriously please God, HP, whatever - let me live in this quietness just a tiny bit longer. Hate to be selfish but I feel like we deserve it. But the point is I have this clearer picture of life on life's terms and I have this greater appreciation for the simple everyday when nothing happens. 

So I hope it’s a good day for everyone. A day where we don’t drink, where it’s pretty much the same as yesterday and that is perfectly okay. 

xx  

Jane