I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for warm jackets, scarves, and a beautiful sunny morning. I am grateful for feeling better, for my family coming into the city in a few weeks, for a slow weekend this weekend and for feeling confident in myself and my choices. I’m grateful for willingness, for AA, for my sponsor, my sponsees and the beautiful community I have.
Good morning my friends!
As always, I hope everyone has been enjoying the week and has a a relaxing weekend ahead of them :)
I’m pressed for time this morning but I suddenly have a lot to say. First of all, lately I have been feeling a little low but as I started the work the other day I was filled with such a sense of purpose.
I haven’t liked my job in a really long time. I haven’t wanted to go to work, I haven’t enjoyed the work I was doing or the people I worked with for the past five years. But yah know what - I didn’t give up on finding a change and now? At my new job? I love the work I am doing and the people I work with and you know what? I’m actually good at what I do!
It’s rare I ever give myself that kind of validation but my sponsor and I have been talking about how one of the things I need to work on the most these days is validating myself. My sponsee’s work with me because my experiences are valid. I have something unique to share with each and every one of them. They trust me and because I work really hard at my program, I can start to trust myself too.
I’ve also been thinking about though the idea of who am I to ever tell someone what to do? A sponsee or a friend or a stranger, I have absolutely no authority to tell someone what they should do. The best I can do is share my exerpeince, maybe food for thought but not dictate. As someone who has been on the recieveing end of dictation (is that the right word??) it doesn’t feel good. I am not God, the only thing I know is that the Higher Power I have has a plan in store for me and I don’t even know what that plan is so how could I ever guess what someone else’s Higher Power has in store for them? Not at two years, or five or ten could I ever have the authority to guess that.
And lastly my friends, I have a holiday party coming up for work and honestly I am super nervous about it. Not that I am going to drink, but this is the first time I’ve had to do something like this alone. We can’t bring a plus one and I’m just a little scared. But I presume, as I always say to you guys - we don’t ever have to do anything by ourselves do we?
XX
Jane
Love 💓 you DO have a unique and valuable experience to share!!!