Daily Gratitude List 7.18.22
Rainy Day Edition
I’m grateful get to watch a thunderstorm roll in this morning. I’m grateful for a gray, pewter sky and flashes of lightning. I’m grateful for feelings of peace and connection. I’m grateful for a couple of pennies when I needed them. I’m grateful for letting the right things happen. I’m grateful to be sober today.
In other news, Episode 17 of Breakfast with an Alcoholic hit the street yesterday. One of the things I grappled with, and that kept me drinking for a long time was my inability to conceive of, much less believe in, the idea of a life without drinking. I’m a pretty practical person1 and for me, getting my head around the Second and Third Steps required answering some practical questions.2Like, who or what is this Higher Power? What can my Higher Power do? How will we communicate?
As I like to say, the Steps are not magic spells and you have to do a lot more than say them or read them or agree with them in your head. For me, the drinking didn’t stop until I put those principles into action; until I actually figured out how to turn my will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. As a kid, I came to believe that the Universe communicated to me via songs on the radio and later, much later, I came to see pennies I found on the street as little way-finding beacons, breadcrumbs, if you’re old-fashioned.3And that’s the subject of Episode 17: “FM Radio, Pennies and Listening to the Universe.”
Thanks for Letting Me Share
Are there people willing to argue this point? Yes, but do we have to get into that now?
The Second Step says that we “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” And then as soon as you get that squared away in your head, it’s time to make “a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand [God].”
Am I right that Hansel and Gretel followed a trail of breadcrumbs into the forest…? I think this is different.
Hansel and Gretel followed their father and stepmother and stepmother into the forest and left a trail of breadcrumbs to help them find their way back -- the birds ate the crumbs and they became lost, which is how they stumbled upon the witch's candy cottage. I like to think, in this metaphor, that the breadcrumbs/pennies are markers we leave for ourselves that disappear, and so we end up on the path our Higher Power intends for us instead, which leads us where we need to go (usually out).
Probably I took this too far 😉
I listened to the podcast late yesterday after spending three days with my loved one who is in recovery at a family workshop (where I also had to sit in a room with his father for three days, too, but we won't talk about that). Your story of the pennies was incredibly helpful--pennies ARE humble and the act of picking them up IS humbling.
My grandmother used to send coins taped to cards for my kids when they were little. After she passed, I found myself thinking of her when I found a penny. I kind of got out of that practice. Maybe I should start again.