At some point, the dangerous alchemy occurs, when drinking finally solves whatever thing it was supposed to fix and the alcoholic brain recognizes its true champion. For me, this happened when drinking began to turn my fear into anger. I didn’t know what to do about fear, I didn’t know how to feel less fearful, i didn’t know how to pop the weirdly distorted cognitive bubble that grew in my head. Until I drank enough and the fear metastasized into anger.