Liner Notes for Episode Nine

Breakfast with Jane @ 3 Decker Diner on 2nd Avenue

Well, I hope you’ve had a chance to listen to Episode Nine, my breakfast with Jane at the Three Decker Diner at 91st and 2nd Avenue. She’s got a rock-solid approach to sobriety and her attitude is absolutely infectious. Don’t take my word for it:

Breakfast with an Alcoholic: Episode Nine

There’s so much to talk about, but let’s start with the thing that really stood out: The story of Jane’s first AA meeting. The 79th Street Workshop is a pretty famous place in AA circles. It’s in the basement of St. Monica’s church on 79th Street, hence the name and it draws a pretty eclectic crowd, people with a lot of sobriety from the east side and a pretty steady in-flow of day counters and newcomers. They run meetings all day long there and I frequently haunt the 6:15pm meeting.¹

Jane’s sobriety date is January 1, so imagine going to your first AA meeting the night after New Year’s Eve knowing how desperately you need help. It’s cold and it’s dark and that staircase looks more like a potential crime scene than the path to salvation. It took a boatload of courage to walk down those steps that first time and it gave me chills when Jane talked about her grandfather’s spirit taking her to her that meeting. There was a time when I was pretty dismissive and skeptical about stories like that, of course, I kept drinking for most of that time.

Courage is not something in short supply in AA. I had a chance to qualify at a meeting in Soho last week and told the story of my friend Matthew (Episode Four) and his 26 trips to rehab.² I know, as a big, big relapser myself, there is a point of view that we just don’t want it enough, that we just don’t get the First Step. That we’re the poor unfortunates of “How it Works.” I think it’s exactly the opposite: Relapsers may just be the people who want it the most! I went to AA meetings for a long time knowing I was going to drink afterwards, but I kept going to meetings and starting over again and again, because I knew my life was slipping away and I was desperate to get it back.

My problem was not located in the First Step, but in the Second. The Second Step says,

We came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I just didn’t believe there was a solution out there for me, that there was a power willing to do that for me. And, as long as I didn’t believe, as long as I couldn’t find the faith to make the leap, I kept drinking. That’s why the image of Jane walking down the staircase to the 79th Street Workshop for her first AA meeting is so powerful and moving. It took me a lot of years to see what needed to change and to muster the courage to do what Jane was able to do at the young age of 22 on a dark, cold January night. She had the courage and the faith and her Grandfather’s alcoholic spirit to get her down those stairs and into the room where her life started to change. That’s a miracle.

The Second Step happens when we finally come to believe there is a path out. I can’t imagine a better example of the hope and faith necessary for the Second Step than walking down those steps. It is, I think, the surest evidence that you’re coming to believe there’s a power greater than yourself that can restore you to the life you were meant to live all along.

Jane also clued us into her secret love for country music and this song:

I grew up in Iowa and am pretty conversant with the genre. I remember being in my grandmother’s kitchen, the walls bedecked with her collection of ashtrays from around the world, the classic formica table with stainless steel edging and always, country music playing on the radio. She loved Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings and of course, Dolly Parton. Those are pretty sweet memories for me and not just because there was an endless supply of delicious cookies in her house.³ Here are some songs I remember from her kitchen:

I know I’m going a little over the top here, but I don’t get that many opportunities to build out the country side of the Discography and I’m not going miss this opportunity to share two of my favorites. Is there a better line than, “Another lesson about a naive fool, came to Babylon and found out that the pie don’t taste so sweet.” I don’t think so either:

And I’m sorry, who can’t love a song that starts, “We met at a truck stop in Johnson City, Tennessee?”

It is a long road to Richmond rolling north on 95, but it goes pretty fast when that’s playing. I think the same holds true for sobriety, it’s definitely a long road, but the music can make a big difference and just to remind you, I collect all of the songs right here:

Official Breakfast with an Alcoholic Discography

Another great episode of Breakfast with an Alcoholic is coming this weekend, so stay tuned! Until then, be well, stay groovy and call your sponsor!

Thanks for Letting Me Share

1. AA Meetings at the 79th Street Workshop

2. Breakfast with an Alcoholic: Episode Four

3. My grandmother made the best ginger snaps and was still sending me tins of them when I was in my 30’s! I miss her and those cookies a lot.