I’m grateful for an afternoon at the library. I’m grateful for the smell of books. I’m grateful for the chance to do what I love. I’m grateful for being able to reframe things. I’m grateful for a sunshine-y day. I’m grateful to be sober today.
As it’s probably fairly difficult to ignore, I’m going to tell you that I had a pretty grand time at the library yesterday. First, the weather was pretty perfect: Chilly, overcast and windy with rain coming late in the afternoon. This meant that not only would I get to spend a perfect library day in a library, wind whistling outside while I was nestled in among the books, I would also get to carry the umbrella. Yes, that umbrella, which reminds me of a pretty lovely time in Paris, not so long ago.
New Year’s in Paris
I was walking up 79th Street and had just crossed Madison, when this woman just blew by me. I’m a pretty fast walker, but she was like a rocket. I’m not sure why, but I had a pretty solid feeling she was headed for the library, too. I was right. She was already bounding up the steps to the circulation desk when I made it to the front door. I checked in and joined two other patrons waiting for the rickety, closet-sized, semi-Parisian, potentially hand-operated elevator. We squeezed into the elevator pretty cheerfully, considering it doesn’t really have a weight limit thing posted and I’ve never been in it with more than one other person. As the door closed, I smugly announced, “This is the best part.” Do you know what happened next?
No, Not This.
Or This.
And Certainly, Not This.
The woman next to me gave me kind of a semi-incredulous look, squinched up her face and archly but warmly, said,1
“No, it’s the smell of the books.”
She's right. I was very, very fortunate to find the carrel/table on the top floor unoccupied, a chance to work amid all of those deliciously musty books.2 I unpacked my bevy of notebooks and pens and got to work. I know I've been writing about this for two days straight, but I find working in the library to be just intoxicating. They do serve beverages in the library, there is tea time at 3:30:
I’m probably going to get reprimanded the next time I go back for talking about “Fight Club,” when, you know, you’re not really supposed to.3 Whatever. I've had that "Come to Jesus" talk more than once. Here's what I've been working on so feverishly. We've mentioned Big Book Study Groups before and have experimented a little bit with doing them as a podcast:
Traditionally, the format for Big Book Study Groups involves a group of people reading the Book aloud and then discussing what they’re reading, usually led by someone who knows the Book pretty well. I’ve done several of these and I find them to be incredibly impactful. The combination of reading aloud with others produces some kind of special magic, along with plenty of new insights and realizations. The issue is that this format is time consuming—it’s hard to do it in less than 12-14 weeks and the discussion aspect does limit the number of participants.
One of our goals here is to find ways to introduce as many people as we can to the Big Book. It’s what saved our lives and following its blueprint for living—well, let’s just say I’m a fan. So are the people who love me. We’re going to launch a series of Big Book Studies—there will be eight “episodes,” each about an hour, and we’ll be covering Steps One, Two and Three and the first seven chapters of the Big Book. Instead of reading every word together, and again, I highly, highly recommend doing this, just in a more intimate setting, we’re going to hit the highlights. This will be more of a survey of the Big Book, we’ll read important portions aloud, we’ll have discussions about what we’re reading and some of the important concepts. There will be homework and we’ll share that with you, too. I’m not 100% sure how it will work beyond that, if there is an interest, we might launch a weekly discussion on Zoom so that we can have a broader conversation with more people, but we’ll see.
I say this over and over, but it really was studying the Big Book and putting it into action in my life that made the difference for me. I spent ten years trying everything everyone could think of to get sober and it was all a shaky-handed adventure in stopping drinking until I had finally steeped long enough in the Big Book and it turned into sobriety.
There is nothing more powerful than reading this book aloud with another alcoholic
I’d love to read it with each of you, but there are only 168 hours every week, so the next best thing is to help get people started, get the pilot light lit and provide a really solid introduction to the Big Book, the Steps and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. After that, I think working Steps 4-9 is probably best done in a more intimate setting—but maybe we’ll figure out a way to help with that, too. We’re going to have a semi-rotating cast of characters so you can hear a variety of different perspectives on what we’re reading and how people have incorporated the lessons in their own lives. I think it’s going to be really interesting and fun. I’d love your input, too. We’re going to go into production soon and try to get the first few episodes done, but will definitely keep you posted.
It was getting late in the afternoon and I needed a break. I went down to the Card Catalog room to see if there was still tea (and hope against hope, those little cookies). I opened up one of the “A” drawers and was perusing the various listings and saw this:
I love that we he have our own card catalog, Dewey-Decimal-System subject heading:
Alcoholics
Now you know where to find me.
If that elevator thing were ever to happen, this would be a likely spot. Although, the ones in my building are also unreliable but substantially less charming.
Pro tip: If you want to go to the “5th Floor Reading Room,” you need to press the number “12” in the elevator. This is one of many tests, which the unworthy shall not pass.
Yes, technically this is about alcoholism and what-not. If you think this is confusing, I’m currently listening to Claudio Abbado conduct Mahler’s Sixth Symphony and the Paul Nicholas, assisted-living facility dinner club version of “Heaven on the Seventh Floor.”
Ah, the smell of books, TBD! There's nothing quite like it. Another great read - thank you. 😃
Forgive me if you've written about this (I'm a newcomer to this 'stack), but what do you think of the Joe & Charlie Big Book study?