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MSJ's avatar

Thank you guys always for reading 💛 always here if anyone needs!!

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Pete Obermeier's avatar

Early recovery is difficult. One person told me it was like wearing a new pair of boots and they felt so awkward, heavy and tight but when they got them broken in and we're used to them they really felt good.

I noticed that the first thing you mentioned is making you happy already included the word " other." That word showed up again and again sometimes just implied like when you use the word "someone"² and I'm sure when your father or sister communicated with you part of your happiness was knowing that they were happy for you and for themselves when they didn't have to worry about Jane like they used to

The comic Gallagher said "you can't have everything! Where would you put it?" When your goal is to have a lot of stuff like money or prestige there's never enough. Kind of like alcohol.

But when you find happiness in the accomplishments of other people there's always another one available for you to help, even when it's just by going to meetings.

The first meeting I went to out of treatment was in the morning and the only ones there were two women. One of them was troubled by her life stressors and the other and I just provided encouragement and comfort and I walked of there on the cloud because it felt so good to see that woman smile after she came in crying. I don't recall that we said anything profound it's just being there and and supportive was what she needed and that made me happy.

My sponsor said that life was just not thrilling for him unless he was doing something crazy like drunk and driving fast. But after he's sobered up he realized that when he saw someone get it it made the hair on the back of his neck staff stand up and everyone who knew him said they really appreciated that when he was talking to them he was totally focused on what they were saying. That to me is true happiness.

The fact is that humans are group oriented animals and we'd have never survived if we were selfish.

Alcohol just makes us feel closer to each other as in that old commercial "I love you, man"but you don't really feel what the other person's feeling because it's all about feeling good yourself and that winds up like a dog chasing his tail.

If I could type instead of talking to text I would say more but I had to go to the ER last Thursday and wound up in the Heart Hospital and had a stroke that left my vision impaired on the left side and blurry on the right side. So reading and writing are difficult and I'm just dictating this into a keep note which is still awkward but better than typing right now.

If you keep on doing the next right thing one day you'll look around and realize that all those fond memories of the old days are false memories and that you really felt like you were dancing a ballet in engineer boots.

So when you feel like you're paddling too fast and not sure where you're going then pull your flippers on and swim to a meeting.

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