I’m grateful for a pretty fun evening teaching a class. I’m grateful for time with my daughter. I’m grateful for such an accomplished and thoughtful (and slightly terrifying) person in my life. I’m grateful for new friends and new opportunities. I’m grateful to be sober today.
Greetings from Beantown! As we were touring revolutionary war sites over the weekend, my daughter was explaining how Boston became known as “Beantown,” but not sure I really remember the particulars, but I do love baked beans. We spent a rainy day at the Bunker Hill memorial and then headed out to Lexington and Concord, where the first skirmishes of the war occurred. It’s a pretty fascinating story. The soon-to-be-rebels had set up a rudimentary early warning system. There were rumors that the British Regular Army would soon commence operations, searching for potential rebel contraband. Any move by the British out of Boston would be signaled from the North Church, “one if by land, two if by sea.” As a detachment of about 800 British regulars made their way towards Lexington, Paul Revere and some colleagues set out on horseback to warn the militiamen and Minutemen that the British were coming.
S., one of my Sponsees, qualified at a meeting on Saturday night. I got reviews of the performance; people called me to tell me how great it was and how moving. There’s no proprietary pride—just amazement at how this Program can take root in people and produce such stunning results. It’s not just that S. stopped drinking nearly 17 months ago, it’s seeing the person emerging as he works the Steps and re-discovers himself. I say this over and over to people who think that AA and the Big Book have this rote, thou must do this and this and this approach. It’s the journey back to yourself, the Steps provide a framework for introspection, action and personal growth, but it’s a bespoke, highly curated activity. It may be by the book, but it’s not completely by the book.
And yet, when someone shares the story of finding the path back to themselves, as personal and unique as that is, there are always commonalities, nuggets that help other people. I heard from a couple of people about S. and how moving and thoughtful his qualification was. Which probably means that there were more people than that who walked away with something of value on Saturday night, something that might help them stay sober. Something they might share with someone else that ends up helping them.
At some point, I began thinking about AA as a multi-level marketing operation, a virtuous Ponzi scheme. See, I get sober and I help two other people get sober and they do the same and so on. This is the root of exponential growth. There’s that famous math problem about calculating how long it takes for the Lilly Pads, doubling every night, to cover the entire pond. Hint: Not long.1
I believe Bill W. grasped the geometric nature of the organization he was trying to build. I’m pretty sure Bill was very, very familiar with the power of the pyramid, Ponzi schemes were pretty prevalent on Wall Street in the 20’s—they were one of the factors that contributed to the devastating collapse in 1929. The collapse that had Bill retiring to the bar while chiding the bankers leaping to their deaths. Sipping his “guesss-I’m-poor-again” cocktail and figuring he’ll deal with the fall-out “tomorrow,” like a good alcoholic.
It was that same geometric power that amazed Bill and the other AA pioneers—-they had never expected the movement to grow so quickly, to help so many people. The rapid and unexpected growth had Bill thinking about brand extensions and adjacent markets. Bill was very interested in the topic of “emotional sobriety,” and was interested in using the principles of the Steps and the Big Book to help non-alcoholics improve their lives, too.
I wrote the other day about “believing my own nonsense,” I might have said “eating my own dog food,” but you get the idea. Part of the magic in working with Sponsees is seeing the magic you’ve been describing, actually happen. That is an experience that genuinely moves the needle for my sobriety. And it doesn’t work just for me. And it does make you say, “hey wait, maybe this stuff really does work!”
The power of the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous constantly amazes me. I’ve seen the examples over and over and it’s why I’m a true believer. Every time someone shares their story, explains how they finally made the changes that had been needed for so long, that share generates a surge of power that is capable of changing the lives of those sitting on the other folding chairs. It’s also why it’s so important to take care about the content of the message. Someone might actually be paying attention and might think I know what I’m talking about. I always tell Sponsees to think about what a newcomer might think. That is who we are supposed to help, after all.
I don’t need to tell any of this to S. He shares his story authentically and honestly and that’s why it resonates with people. It has the benefit of being true, as I like to say, and it’s the reflection of his own character that makes it so powerful. Conversely, by sharing his story and helping other alcoholics, S. deepens and widens his own spiritual experience, deepens and widens his own sobriety. And getting to watch all of that, deepens and widens my own. That’s the kind of Ponzi scheme I’m proud to be a part of. There’s a bridge I’d like to show you.
I used to make a joke about divorce and the consequent division of assets by two as the “Reverse Lilly Pad Problem.”
Grateful for 12.6 years sober today 👌👌👌