Bill's Dinner with Ebby: I’m grateful for having the right people in my life. I’m grateful for Friday morning. I’m grateful for the view from my desk. I’m grateful for people who get excited about the same things. I’m grateful for chances to do things differently. I’m grateful to be sober today.
Thank you very much for asking. Here's what's in production. I'm synthesizing this week's gratitude lists into a more coherent, longer form essay about How Bill Got Sober---and I'm hopefully going to record it and have it ready to publish by tomorrow morning. Fortunately, it's raining.
This is really good. And now I want to go back and read those pages of the Big Book again. The running commentary helps, and I can see why you work through the Big Book with your sponsees line by line. Probably going to print this one and share it.
Like always, you're so, so kind. Until I broke it down that way, I couldn't really understand the dynamics of that dinner or the process by which Bill arrived at spiritual renewal---but Bill W is a master at showing and not telling and he shows everything you need to see to understand exactly where he was
I think, at least in the UK, they’re just called bouncy balls 😅.
And I like that analogy. I think it works for all endeavours in which human being attempts to be responsible for itself - it’s thoughts and subconscious or conscious actions. For example...
I’m blessed with a lot of anger. I say ‘blessed’, because anger is useful energy that can be wielded, and has a lot of power to create change and wake people up, and create new things and take action. But with power comes responsibility and thus far it has been one of the key missions of my life.
Sometimes, I blow up and I have to foot a large bill to replace furniture in my house.
Often, I just suppress it. This has a cost in either a big blow up later, or a demand on my physical energy and well-being.
More and more, rather than reacting to anger, I’m cultivating a relationship with it. Where I feel I can responsibly express it, to myself, to others, to those who it concerns.
I find over time, the blow ups (the bouncy ball at its height) and the depression/well-being issues (the force with which it hits the ground) gets lower and lower.
There’s a point where it seems like I have to face my anger very frequently, but the reaction is milder. And there’s a point where it seems to stop and be peaceful for a while.
Occasionally, when I’m not looking... something might happen that will have the ball ricochet into a new cycle of bouncing. But recently, it feels like there’s a hand that isn’t mine that just catches it mid air, and just puts it down again.
It’s a relief, but in a way just as disconcerting as blowing up. It’s like ‘oh, I don’t have to this. Right. Hmm. Ok. Now what?’
thank you!
Thank you very much for asking. Here's what's in production. I'm synthesizing this week's gratitude lists into a more coherent, longer form essay about How Bill Got Sober---and I'm hopefully going to record it and have it ready to publish by tomorrow morning. Fortunately, it's raining.
This is really good. And now I want to go back and read those pages of the Big Book again. The running commentary helps, and I can see why you work through the Big Book with your sponsees line by line. Probably going to print this one and share it.
Like always, you're so, so kind. Until I broke it down that way, I couldn't really understand the dynamics of that dinner or the process by which Bill arrived at spiritual renewal---but Bill W is a master at showing and not telling and he shows everything you need to see to understand exactly where he was
Beautifully written. What a great post.
I'm grateful for the chance to do things differently, too.
I think, at least in the UK, they’re just called bouncy balls 😅.
And I like that analogy. I think it works for all endeavours in which human being attempts to be responsible for itself - it’s thoughts and subconscious or conscious actions. For example...
I’m blessed with a lot of anger. I say ‘blessed’, because anger is useful energy that can be wielded, and has a lot of power to create change and wake people up, and create new things and take action. But with power comes responsibility and thus far it has been one of the key missions of my life.
Sometimes, I blow up and I have to foot a large bill to replace furniture in my house.
Often, I just suppress it. This has a cost in either a big blow up later, or a demand on my physical energy and well-being.
More and more, rather than reacting to anger, I’m cultivating a relationship with it. Where I feel I can responsibly express it, to myself, to others, to those who it concerns.
I find over time, the blow ups (the bouncy ball at its height) and the depression/well-being issues (the force with which it hits the ground) gets lower and lower.
There’s a point where it seems like I have to face my anger very frequently, but the reaction is milder. And there’s a point where it seems to stop and be peaceful for a while.
Occasionally, when I’m not looking... something might happen that will have the ball ricochet into a new cycle of bouncing. But recently, it feels like there’s a hand that isn’t mine that just catches it mid air, and just puts it down again.
It’s a relief, but in a way just as disconcerting as blowing up. It’s like ‘oh, I don’t have to this. Right. Hmm. Ok. Now what?’
😅
This is really, really fantastic—you took the ball and ran with it!! Haha—
No, seriously—this is really brilliant and the idea of those kinds of relationships with feelings is a fascinating way to think about it