Daily Gratitude List 7.9.22
I’m very grateful it’s Saturday. I’m grateful for getting a lot done last week. I’m grateful to be busy again. I’m grateful for a sense of purpose. I’m grateful to lead a life I don’t have to run from anymore. I’m grateful to let people see me. I’m grateful for second and third and fourth chances. I’m grateful for realizing I was never actually alone. I’m grateful for the farmers market at Union Square. I’m grateful to be sober today.
Like I mentioned, it being Saturday, I will likely be boarding the NYC Ferry at 90th Street and heading down to Union Square for the Farmer’s Market. What does this mean for you, the loyal subscriber/reader: Probably more gratitude for fresh produce and what not and pictures from the ferry ride this week—is that so bad? If you’ve already listened to Episode 15 (Breakfast with Joanna), you can check out the Liner Notes here and wait with breathless anticipation for Episode 16 of Breakfast with an Alcoholic.
Here are some things I’ve been reading that I thought you might enjoy. First, Three Things Weekly here on Substack is one of my favorites and I loved the poem “Energy Rush” by Laura Muresan:
And I think the Wildroot Parables are are great, too:
And this, I thought, was a very compelling essay in the New York Times:
I have some pretty strong views on the idea that it’s compassionate to withdraw love and support from someone suffering from this disease to “let them hit bottom.” I know this is the only disease that gets treated mostly with a book written in the 1930’s. I’m surprised the idea that the best way to treat addiction is to step away, watch Humpty Dumpty fall and then hope there’s a way to patch the shattered egg shell back together again.1
I know dealing with us in active addiction is horrifying and heartbreaking. I don’t blame anyone from stepping away and saying that they can’t do this anymore. I do object to suggesting that it’s for the benefit of the addict. There is no evidence to support the idea that loving an addict or an alcoholic somehow contributes to their disease or that withdrawing love and support somehow supports or contributes to their recovery. It’s hard stuff all the way around and I guess my thought is more love might be a better answer than less.
Lots of exciting stuff coming down the pike this weekend!
Thanks for Letting Me Share
It is popular to say things like doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I think someone actually trying to patch together an egg shell is a better example.
I like the image of the eggshell glued back together. Broken can mean more places for the light of recovery and gratitude to come in.
Thanks for the share!
And I hear you - "withdrawing love" is not only a crazy strategy for "supporting" recovery, it's also impossible. Recently, I was on a coaching training programme, and the conversation got to this somehow:
"Love is remembering who they are, even when they have forgotten."
The context was that this is the fundamental premise and space from which to coach.
And I think it applies in relationship to being in relationship to someone in recovery. At the worst moments, they've forgotten who they are and to love them is to remember the human being that's there, lost as they are.
And one can step away, which may well be a healthy boundary to instil, and still love them. You don't have to be embroiled to love.
Thank you for sharing :).