SUNDAY GRATITUDE EXTRAVAGANZA: BOOKS AND WRITING EDITION
| Five Things… [Books and Writing] | Announcing The Sober Library | Jane Reviews "Atlas of the Heart" | From the TFLMS Archive: "By the Book" & "More on the Power of Books" |
I’m grateful for an excellent Saturday. I’m grateful for the element of surprise. I’m grateful for a sunny morning. I’m grateful for feeling things in a different way. I’m grateful for exactly how things are. I’m grateful to be sober today.
The Books and Writing Edition
You know how we say stuff like “recovery is finding the way back to you,” or words to that effect? Well, for both of us, writing has been a big part of the journey. I’m not sure why writing things down is such an important and powerful tool of transformation, but it is. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the prescription for most cases of alcoholism and addiction is reading a book?
1. SHOULD THIS BE THE THEME SONG?
2. HOW YOU KNOW AN ALCOHOLIC WROTE THE BOOK
This may be one of my favorite books in the genre. When I first read it, I thought “this guy knows what he is talking about.” Why is it my favorite? Who but an alcoholic writes an obvious work of fiction and then goes on Oprah and says it’s all true? That’s a pirate-y alcoholic.
3. WHY WAS IT CALLED THE BIG BOOK?
4. WHY DIDN’T I BRING A BOOK?
How many times have you been in this exact situation and said that to yourself?1
5. GUESS WHO RECEIVED THE ONE MILLIONTH COPY OF THE BIG BOOK?
Was he one of us? Listen to the tapes of him calling Bob Haldeman late at night DAYS AFTER he had fired him …If he was, a pretty sneaky way for the Universe to put the Big Book in the right hands. Also, he signed this into existence.
Announcing The Sober Library:
For us, reading and writing have been a big part of recovery and sobriety. We thought we’d start sharing some of our favorite books on the topic of recovery, addiction and general happiness and telling you how they helped us! If you have ideas, thoughts, comments, suggestions or if there are some books that you’d like to chat about, well, we’d love to do that with you:
We’re kicking it off with
reviewing Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart”Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown (2021)
It’s me,
making a surprise appearance at the extravaganza ;) I’m here to share a brief synopsis and mini-review of“Atlas of the Heart,”by Brené Brown and how it pertains to my sobriety. For anyone who may not know what I’m talking about –Atlas of the Heart takes readers through 87 different emotions, defines them and explains the ways they may affect us. For someone who is extraordinarily emotional and not always sure why or what about – this book is exceptionally helpful. It helps put words to my ever changing feelings.
I’ve only read through a few of the emotions explained in the book: anxiety, worry, admiration, stressed and overwhelmed, to name a few. But today I wanted to focus on Brown’s definitions of boredom and expectations.
She defines boredom as the uncomfortable state of wanting to engage in satisfying activity, but being unable to do it. When I’m bored, I get itchy, and antsy, and restless and uncomfortable. I feel like I should be doing something, anything that resembles productivity, but I can’t bring myself to do any of the things on my constantly growing to do list. Brown however, proceeds to reframe those unwelcome feelings – Boredom is actually just your imagination calling to you! I wonder how much more I would create if I sat down, ignored my to do list, and filtered through the boredom. How much more motivated I would feel? Probably very…
I’m also learning about unexamined and unexplained expectations coupled with examined and explained expectations. Unexamined and unexplained are like when I want to have a slow and quiet day at work, but I don’t share that with any of my colleagues. I in turn get increasingly more and more frustrated when they ask me to do what feels a million things.
Unexamined and unexplained expectations lead exclusively to disappointment for me, then followed by anger and resentment. Examined and explained expectations on the other hand can have a more positive outcome. Like when I tell Tim I would really like to spend some time together just me and him, and then we do just that. This way, he knows what I’m looking for, without making him try to read my mind. Unfortunately mindreader isn't on his resume.
Examined and explained expectations are significantly healthier, but they still need to be checked against the reality of the situation. I.e., we can’t spend time together just me and him if we already have a full weekend ahead featuring plans with other people. Examined and explained expectations allow me to communicate and reality check without feeling disappointed in the end.
So far, “Atlas of the Heart,” is helping me better understand the arsenal of my own emotions, it gives me the words I need to accurately explain how I’m feeling, and is giving me more room to be a sober woman of dignity and grace as opposed to a ticking time bomb…maybe that’s why my dad recommend the book to me. Regardless, I 10/10 recommend to all of you…even if you only want to learn what schadenfreude means…
I highly recommend Brene Brown’s, “Atlas of the Heart,” it’s helping me understand the map of my own feelings and charting a course for sobriety. If you’d like to share your thoughts, I’d love to chat:
xx,
Jane
“Anyone Anywhere” meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous!
Tuesday nights at 7pm
The “Anyone Anywhere” meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous takes place on Tuesday evenings at 7pm (edt). It is an “Open” meeting, meaning all are welcome and that definitely includes you! If you’re curious about what happens at AA meetings or have been looking to check new meetings out, it’s all good with us.
We’ve been working our way through the Big Book, but it’s cool to jump in any time, you don’t need to promise to come every week, you don’t even need to turn your camera on if you don’t want to. We’re going to be starting on “Working with Others,” which is a really critical part of the Big Book and provides some often overlooked advice on how best to help alcoholics and addicts.
We’d love to have you join us.
Zoom: 873 5565 4347 secret code: 1234
From the TFLMS Archives:
I know it seems really hollow to keep saying, “I’m sorry.” Especially since this seems deliberate.
“Man’s Search for Meaning” was pivotal for me